Post by Boomer Chick on Jul 8, 2004 23:33:59 GMT -5
Well, you want to know how it all started? It started for me with a visionary dream. I was in college living in a co-ed house with my boyfriend, an accounting major, and this dream/vision started me on the road or let's say, stimulated my spiritual quest.
I was aimlessly dreaming when suddenly the dream took a profound and ghastly turn. I was feeling a fear like I had never known, and I had known fear. When I was a little girl from the age of five through 7, I was terribly afraid of the dark and often had what are called night terrors and would scream at the top of my lungs and not be able to wake up even when mom came in the room and turned on the light. I had to have my mirrors covered at night, afraid that witches would walk out of them. Well, this fear was a hundred times more intense and heavy as I literally felt like my soul was being sucked out of the top of my head. It was black, consuming,and I felt powerless. I didn't see anything but blackness and I felt so all alone and small in the powerful clutches of something that was trying to suck out my soul almost like a terrible black vaccum cleaner. I was not raised to go to church and little talk of God or Jesus was spoken in our family. I remember one Christmas when I was about eight or so, I wondered why no one talked about Jesus in my home. In order to give Him some attention, I dragged out my Jesus coloring book from my junk drawer and talked to him a little and then put the coloring book back. In this black, intense, fear with no face, I didn't cry out to my love, to my mother or father. No, I cried out to Jesus Christ! It was almost instinctual, I would say, considering my total lack of indoctrination. And as soon as I called out His name, in the blackness, the utter dark and fear, a gleaming, beaming white cross appeared and shot white rays in all directions! I was filled with the light of hope and knew I was saved and safe like a drowing person in the huge dark night ocean clinging to a suddenly appearing life raft! I just knew it! I felt calm and honored, grateful beyond words, and then the dream changed to an old house with college friends in it, all of whom where not truly relating, just bumping around in this dimly lit Victorian house and then I ran outside into the backyard. In the yard were several monks dressed in brown, calling to me, wanting me, yet I knew they were not "the way" and I continued to run, almost glide across the landscape, close to the ground and flying at the same time. Then I woke up.
Was this God talking to me? Was this a sign in my life for me to follow? Yes, it definately was and it was just the start! I know what I felt, I know the power of that dream vision and it is with me today as clear and powerful as it was back then. No one can say it was "just a dream" and just my subconcious mind. Rather it was the super-conscious mind, the part of us that can be contacted by divine consciousness and I was surely contacted and given direction, given a signpost, if you will, like Alice in Wonderland and yet more profound and powerful than any metaphor or fantasy!
And yet, when I look back on my childhood, I see that somehow and through the wonderful years, my guides or my angels were watching over me, even then -- I just wasn't aware.
I feel like I had no control in my dreaming and questioned, why Jesus? Why not an out-of-body experience? Why not a dream about Mohammed or Yaweh, or Buddha? Just because I had a Jesus dream/vision does not mean that if your dream/vision or experience was not Christian that it would be any less spiritual. Let's get that straight right now! I'm open to ALL spiritual experiences and so is JerseyBluEyz!
To be continued!
Please share your FIRST spiritual experience!
I was aimlessly dreaming when suddenly the dream took a profound and ghastly turn. I was feeling a fear like I had never known, and I had known fear. When I was a little girl from the age of five through 7, I was terribly afraid of the dark and often had what are called night terrors and would scream at the top of my lungs and not be able to wake up even when mom came in the room and turned on the light. I had to have my mirrors covered at night, afraid that witches would walk out of them. Well, this fear was a hundred times more intense and heavy as I literally felt like my soul was being sucked out of the top of my head. It was black, consuming,and I felt powerless. I didn't see anything but blackness and I felt so all alone and small in the powerful clutches of something that was trying to suck out my soul almost like a terrible black vaccum cleaner. I was not raised to go to church and little talk of God or Jesus was spoken in our family. I remember one Christmas when I was about eight or so, I wondered why no one talked about Jesus in my home. In order to give Him some attention, I dragged out my Jesus coloring book from my junk drawer and talked to him a little and then put the coloring book back. In this black, intense, fear with no face, I didn't cry out to my love, to my mother or father. No, I cried out to Jesus Christ! It was almost instinctual, I would say, considering my total lack of indoctrination. And as soon as I called out His name, in the blackness, the utter dark and fear, a gleaming, beaming white cross appeared and shot white rays in all directions! I was filled with the light of hope and knew I was saved and safe like a drowing person in the huge dark night ocean clinging to a suddenly appearing life raft! I just knew it! I felt calm and honored, grateful beyond words, and then the dream changed to an old house with college friends in it, all of whom where not truly relating, just bumping around in this dimly lit Victorian house and then I ran outside into the backyard. In the yard were several monks dressed in brown, calling to me, wanting me, yet I knew they were not "the way" and I continued to run, almost glide across the landscape, close to the ground and flying at the same time. Then I woke up.
Was this God talking to me? Was this a sign in my life for me to follow? Yes, it definately was and it was just the start! I know what I felt, I know the power of that dream vision and it is with me today as clear and powerful as it was back then. No one can say it was "just a dream" and just my subconcious mind. Rather it was the super-conscious mind, the part of us that can be contacted by divine consciousness and I was surely contacted and given direction, given a signpost, if you will, like Alice in Wonderland and yet more profound and powerful than any metaphor or fantasy!
And yet, when I look back on my childhood, I see that somehow and through the wonderful years, my guides or my angels were watching over me, even then -- I just wasn't aware.
I feel like I had no control in my dreaming and questioned, why Jesus? Why not an out-of-body experience? Why not a dream about Mohammed or Yaweh, or Buddha? Just because I had a Jesus dream/vision does not mean that if your dream/vision or experience was not Christian that it would be any less spiritual. Let's get that straight right now! I'm open to ALL spiritual experiences and so is JerseyBluEyz!
To be continued!
Please share your FIRST spiritual experience!